Mine to Play With 3/3
Characters: Jared, Jensen, Christian, and Chad
Disclaimer: None of these people belong to me; they all belong to themselves. None of this is true in any way, shape or form. I made it all up.
Warnings: Explicit M/M, unrealistic use of drugs (recreational), exhibitionism, mild D/s, blindfold, this is porn with very little plot, you have been warned.
Word Count: 14,000 in total (4,400 this part)
Summary: Written in response to this prompt at spnkink-meme: Jared and Jensen are in a full, trusting relationship. But normal sex is boring for them. So they have a game. They are allowed to drug each other whenever/where-ever they want. The other one doesn't know when it's happening and is entirely helples to whatever the other is doing to him.
Thanks: Thank you etoile_etiolee for your fabulous artwork, your boundless enthusiasm and, most of all, your friendship.
A/N: This is my first try at writing and posting porn, so yeah, I'm nervous. I almost didn't claim this fill and then I thought about using a sock puppet journal, but ultimately I decided to be brave and just post it here. I think it's plain to see that I have a vulnerability kink. Please read the warnings carefully and enter at your own risk. Feedback is much appreciated.
Here's the thing - it isn't about the sex.
Chad never believes him when he tries to explain it. He always responds with something like, "Oh come on Jayman, you can't expect me to fall for that."
And yeah, it may be fucking impossible to believe. But it's true. Because what the game is really about, what it MEANS, is that Jensen trusts Jared's discretion regarding what's in his best interests far more than he trusts himself. That's why Jared has carte blanche to drug Jensen anytime, anywhere, no holds barred, no restrictions. Nothing is off limits.
Not even when they're working. Not even when they're on set in the middle of a scene.
Jensen doesn't get a say in the matter and there's a very good reason for that.
After the first take, Jensen hops off the hood of the Impala and walks stiffly out of camera range, wiping a shaky hand across his eyes.
Jared watches him go, knowing that Jensen is going to need a few minutes to get himself under control.
The director, some guy they've only worked with a couple of times, walks over to where Jared is leaning against the sleek, black car. "Is Jensen all right?" The concern seems genuine which Jared appreciates. It helps that the guy's eyes are a little wet.
Jared looks around and notices there isn't a dry eye on set. He's not surprised. The scene is an emotional one and Jensen is knocking it out of the ballpark. The effort is taking a huge toll on him though.
"I'm not sure. I'll go ask him in a minute." He tells the director, Miller, the guy's name is Miller.
When Jensen turns around to head back to set, Jared makes sure he's there to meet his co-star/boyfriend halfway. "Hey, how about we tell'em we need a break? We can go to your trailer and I'll blow you. Bet I can make you come in under five minutes." He winks, hoping for a laugh or even just a smile.
Jared loves to goof off, say the most ridiculous things just to get a snicker out of Jensen. From the shy, stifled chuckles in front of friends and acquaintances to the can't-stop-laughing giggles on set in between takes to the head-throw-back in open, honest amusement reserved for when they're alone, Jared loves each and every time he can get Jensen to laugh.
Jensen's headspace is a fragile place right now though and the smile Jared gets is so tremulous that it just won't stay put no matter how hard Jared can see his boyfriend trying to hold it in place.
He wants to do something to help Jensen get through this scene. "Is there anything I can do?"
His words have the opposite effect from what he intends and a fresh tear runs down Jensen's face.
"No man, I just…you know…I have to get to this place inside, I have to make myself feel this way or I won't…" Jensen takes a shuddering breath. "Sometimes, it's hard to shut it off once it starts. My body doesn't recognize when the scene is over and I c-can't stop."
Jared hates how helpless he feels, but he completely understands where Jensen is coming from. Even though Jensen isn't method, the emotions have to come from somewhere real. You don't get be an actor of Jensen's caliber without learning to harness and use your own life experiences, the good and the bad, to hone your craft.
Jared puts a hand on Jensen's shoulder, offering as much comfort as he dares in front of the crew. Before he can say anything else though, the director joins them.
"I've got the camera angles all worked out for the next take. You guys ready to give it another shot?"
Jensen nods and walks off to take his mark. There's nothing for Jared to do except to follow him.
They've filmed the scene from several angles, they've done the takes to get close ups of Dean pouring his heart out and they've done the takes to capture Sam's reactions. By the time the director yells "CUT!" on the eighth take, Jensen's lower lip is quivering and Jared has to physically restrain himself from wrapping his arms around Jensen like a gigantic, Jared-sized, protective shield.
It's draining just to watch Jensen act out the scene. Jensen puts so much of himself into every nuance of his performance that Jared can only imagine how draining it must be for him. But no matter how much it costs him, Jensen will never agree to tell the director he can't keep going.
When Jensen walks off set again, shoulders hunched miserably, feet stumbling over the gravel road, Jared knows it's up to him to put a stop to this. "Hey Jodie, how's my favorite PA doing today?" He calls out to a passing young woman.
Charmed, Jodie stops in her tracks and smiles at him. "I'm great, Jared. What can I get for you?"
Jared makes it a point to know the names and at least a couple of things about every member of the crew. He knows that Jodie is originally from Australia and she's only been a PA for six months. "Can you bring me a couple bottles of water when you get a chance? It's kind of hot out here." He grins, showing her his dimples, and she blushes.
"Of course." As she scampers off, Jared turns to see how far Jensen's gone this time. His very talented, very stubborn, boyfriend has made it past the trailers and is still walking. That's the furthest he's gone yet which means things are getting worse for him. Jensen's gotten himself so strung out that he's liable to go off at the slightest provocation and reining it back in is taking every bit of resolve and grit he has.
Jodie returns quickly with two bottles of water and Jared does what he needs to do before heading out to intercept Jensen on his way back to set.
Holding out one of the two bottles to his boyfriend, Jared says, "Here, drink, you need to stay hydrated and it's fucking hot out here." He tips his own bottle back and drains half in one long series of swallows, watching as Jensen does the same, magnificent throat working.
"Thanks man, I needed that." Jensen wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. Jared can't help but notice how the hand is still trembling, how Jensen won't make eye contact, how beads of sweat are rolling from his hairline down his neck to soak the collar of Dean's shirt.
Jensen's in a bad way and he's trying to hide it. Luckily, Jared can see right through it.
"You know Jense," Jared starts off conversationally, as though it's no big deal, "I think Miller has all the footage he needs for this scene. You've been rock-solid all day, we haven't messed up a single take. He should have more than enough. Anything else we film is just gonna end up on the cutting room floor."
It's all absolutely true. The director may want to use the afternoon sun for some lighting effect he has in mind, but it's nothing that can't be added in post-production.
Jensen starts shaking his head before Jared's even finished talking. "I don't want anyone to think I can't do this, Jared. I can do it better this time. I know I can."
And what the Hell! How can Jensen not see what everyone else on the crew sees, that he's already nailed this scene? The fangirls will be weeping for days.
Beautiful and talented and humble and stubborn. That's his boy.
Well, Jared can be stubborn too.
The drugs need time to work their way into Jensen's system so he needs a little diversion. They take the long way back and Jared successfully detours them over to the craft services tent, telling Jensen he needs a chocolate fix and he heard they have his favorite chocolate chip cookies today.
Jensen goes along willingly enough and by the time they get back to set, he's already beginning to get wobbly on his feet.
Even though they're filming outside using natural lighting, the heavy-duty cables attached to the sound equipment make navigating the set a hazardous proposition, especially for someone whose head is in the clouds instead of taking an active interest in where he's going.
One close call with Jensen's pretty face nearly making contact with the ground is all it takes to motivate Jared to play a more active role in getting his boyfriend safely to where he needs to be.
As docile as a lamb, Jensen allows himself to be guided to his chair on set, Jared's steadying grip on his elbow keeping him upright.
"Just stay here for a couple of minutes, Jense. I'll be right back." Jared promises as he looks around for Miller.
Probably because Jensen hasn't eaten much all day, the drugs have hit him hard. Jared can tell by his boy's soft, sweet expression that Jensen's world is now a fuzzy place where all his senses are heightened and his mind feels like it's drifting somewhere pleasant and problem-free. Production schedules and director's expectations no longer concern him. All decisions regarding his boyfriend's well-being now lie squarely on Jared's capable shoulders.
No way is Jared leaving Jensen alone and defenseless right now, so he only takes three steps and stops, keeping his boy clearly within view. He doesn't have to wait long for the director, clipboard in hand, to come in search of his actors.
Squinting into the sun, probably to gage how much time he has left, Miller makes as if to go around Jared to get to Jensen. Jared moves to block him without making it too obvious.
The director smiles, but it's a tight smile, an I-have-a-deadline smile. "Jared, you think you and Jensen can be ready to go again in, like, five minutes?" He taps his plastic clipboard with the pen he normally keeps behind his ear.
Jared shakes his head. "No, I don't think so." He keeps his voice sincere, yet decisive. There can be no doubt about how seriously he takes his responsibility. To the show, yes. But more importantly, to Jensen.
"Well then, how much time do you need? The sun is perfect right now. You see how it's reflecting off the Impala's mirror? It's going to be a great effect." Miller circles something on his clipboard before sliding the pen back behind his ear.
"I'm sure it's awesome, but I'd like you to do something for me first. Take a look at your principal actor for this scene and then tell me if we really need to do it again with the sunlight hitting the mirror at a slightly different angle from the previous takes." Stepping aside, Jared gestures toward his co-star.
With hooded eyes, Jensen sits slumped over in his chair, dried tear tracks trailing through the foundation on his cheeks, foundation that Shannon, their make-up artist, has reapplied seven times already today. He looks as though he could topple over at any minute and, yeah, that's got more to do with the drugs than anything else, but honestly, if it wasn't for the mellowing power of the drugs, Jensen would most likely look a lot worse.
Just then, Jensen's water bottle falls from his loose grasp. If he notices that he's dropped something, he doesn't react, doesn't reach down to pick it up.
Miller's gaze travels from Jensen to his clipboard and back again several times. Finally he sighs, tucks his clipboard under his arm and yells, "Okay everybody, that's a wrap for today. We're in the studio tomorrow. See you all bright and early."
On his way back to Jensen, Shannon bustles past him going in the opposite direction and Jared hears her mutter, "Oh thank God. That was brutal."
Kneeling next to his boyfriend's chair, Jared ducks to meet Jensen's wandering gaze. "I'm taking you to your trailer now, baby. You understand? No more filming today."
Jensen's lips crook up in a lazy half-smile. "Alrigh' Jared," he drawls, Texas twang evident. Then he stands hesitantly, lists to the side and makes a grab for Jared's shirt. "Whoa, 'm really dizzy."
"I know, but it's nothing you need to worry about." Jared slips an arm around Jensen's waist to keep him from falling.
On the way to the trailer, several members of the crew stop to congratulate them both on their amazing performances. Jared runs interference, thanking everyone and explaining how tired they are while keeping a protective arm around Jensen.
"No more filming." Jensen murmurs as they climb the steps to his double-wide trailer. "No more filming, that's what you said, right Jared?"
"That's right, baby. You were fantastic and you don't have to do any more filming today."
Among other things, Jensen's trailer has a very nice couch the color of charcoal and that's were Jared steers his weaving boyfriend as soon as he gets the door closed and locked behind them.
Jensen seems to melt into the cushions, every muscle in his body going lax including the ones in his neck as his head falls back and his eyes slip closed. Using a damp cloth from the bathroom, Jared carefully wipes the streaked foundation from his boy's face, paying special attention to the delicate skin underneath the sweep of his long lashes where they lie against his cheeks.
A pleased humming emanates from deep inside Jensen's chest and it reminds Jared of the sound a golden-manned lion might make if he was basking out on the savanna, sun-warmed and thoroughly satisfied. Such a huge difference from the emotionally wrecked young man of earlier in the day, struggling so hard just to maintain control.
"Hey, don't fall asleep." Jared warns, voice full of fond indulgence. "I want you to eat something first. You haven't had more than a cup of coffee and maybe a bite or two of your bagel and that was hours ago."
The words take a few moments to penetrate but, when they do, Jensen blinks his eyes open slowly while licking his bottom lip. "'M not hungry." Then he reaches for Jared. "C'mere, be with me."
Sinking onto the sofa next to his boyfriend, Jared watches in amusement as Jensen begins unbuttoning his long sleeve shirt for him, pushing impatiently at the multiple layers that make up Sam's wardrobe.
Jensen leans close and exhales into the skin under his jaw. The moist, warm air makes him shiver. Jensen's fingers finish with the buttons of his top shirt and drift down to play with the zipper of his jeans, rubbing at his growing erection through the denim. "Take these off."
Fuck! Jensen's voice is a husky, deep drawl, promising to fulfill every filthy fantasy Jared has ever had and then some.
Sex hadn't been on the addenda for today. Jared's only priority had been getting Jensen away from the seemingly endless ordeal that had been the day's shoot and then pampering him to within an inch of his life. But if sex is what Jensen wants, well…Jared can work with that. There will always be time later to implement his nefarious plans to cuddle his boyfriend to death.
"So that's the way it's gonna be, huh? You wanna be the one in charge?" Jared teases, cupping his boyfriend's chin in one palm and using the tips of his fingers to ruffle the soft hair at the nape of Jensen's neck. "You gonna boss me around, show me how you want it?"
Jensen's smile is equal parts shy and mischievous as he crawls into Jared's lap, straddling his thighs and curling forward to brush their lips together. Jared slides his tongue into the wet heat of Jensen's mouth, moaning when Jensen opens up to tangle their tongues together.
Jensen breaks the kiss to nuzzle at his corner of his mouth, licking a stripe along his cheek until he reaches the slight indentation there. "Tastes so good, Jared. Love your dimples so much." He presses his tongue into the slight dip and hums happily.
It's so silly that Jared has to smile which makes his dimple deeper and Jensen continues to suck and make enthusiastic slurping noises that should be kind of weird but only serve to turn Jared on even more.
When he can't take any more, Jared tips Jensen sideways off his lap and onto the couch. "Enough of that. We need to finish what you started." That said, he quickly shrugs out of the button down plaid shirt and pulls the t-shirt over his head, helping Jensen to do the same with Dean's Henley and tee combo.
The lightly-freckled expanse of Jensen's chest and his toned stomach beg for attention which Jared is more than willing to give. Kneeling next to the couch, Jared trails kisses from his gorgeous boy's collarbone all the way down to his navel where he swirls his tongue around the rim before dipping inside.
At the sharp intake of breath, Jared looks up through his bangs to see Jensen's head tipped back, mouth parted on a gasp and eyes closed.
Jensen seems to close his eyes a lot during sex.
That gives Jared an idea.
"Now where did you put that…" Muttering out loud, Jared leaves his sentence hanging when he finds what he's searching for in the bottom drawer of a cabinet next to the kitchenette. "Here it is." The square piece of navy blue fabric held aloft in triumph, Jared saunters back to where Jensen is sprawled on the couch, half-naked and flushed an attractive pink.
They've never used a blindfold before; Jared has always wanted to see his boyfriend's face, especially his expressive, green eyes. Even when clouded by the drugs, Jensen's eyes hold the key to his true emotions and Jared has never wanted that covered up before.
But there's something in the way Jensen keeps trying to close them, something that makes Jared think it's time to experiment. Maybe this is a kink Jensen hasn't gotten around to telling him about yet. Or maybe it's a kink Jensen isn't consciously aware of himself. Either way, it's Jared's job to figure this stuff out and make sure all of Jensen's needs are met.
He makes a show of folding the bandana diagonally into a serviceable blindfold, watching as Jensen licks his lips, eyes hooded, fingers twitching where they lie against his bare stomach.
It seems he has his boy's full attention.
"This is to keep you guessing. You can tell me what you want or you can show me what you want, but you won't be able to see what's coming next. Is that all right with you, baby?"
Jensen swallows hard as though his mouth has gone dry, then he nods his head once in a swift jerk of his chin.
The trust and faith Jensen gives him so freely make Jared pause for a second and he gets a little light-headed as a wave of gratitude and awe rolls through him.
He has to take a deep breath to regain his equilibrium before he can continue.
Then, slipping the ends of the blindfold behind the back of his boyfriend's head, Jared ties them together securely, but not so tight as to be uncomfortable.
It's a matter of seconds for Jared to strip out of his remaining clothing. Shoes, socks, jeans and boxers hit the floor one after another without finesse. There's no point in putting on a show when Jensen can't see. Getting Jensen completely naked, however, is a different matter. Jensen can't see, but he can certainly feel and his sense of touch has always been very important to him.
Time to see if the loss of his eyesight affects the way he reacts to being touched.
Palm flat, Jared caresses the rippled plane of his sensitive boyfriend's belly. The muscles contract as Jensen hisses a breath in between his teeth. Jared grins, pleased with the overall effect so far, and moves his hand lower until it slips beneath the waistband of Jensen's jeans and brushes against the spongy head of his cock where it strains upward.
Jensen's hips give an involuntary jerk. He seems to be caught on a knife's edge of pleasure, thrown off balance by his inability to tell where Jared will touch next. Wrapping his fingers around Jared's wrist, Jensen shoves at his hand to get it right where he wants it, directly over the bulge in his pants. Goal achieved, Jensen bucks into the pressure and slams his head back into the couch cushions.
"That's it, baby. Show me what you need." Jared encourages, giving in to his boy's unspoken demands by rubbing and squeezing the hard, throbbing flesh of his erection.
While Jensen thrusts into his hand, Jared takes advantage of the way his hips come off the couch to flick open the snap and unzip his jeans so that he can deftly tug them, along with the boxer briefs, off Jensen's thighs.
Jensen reaches for him again, but this time Jared easily evades his questing hand, opting to finish the job of removing his sweet boy's boots, socks and jeans instead. As he slides the denim off his legs and onto the floor, he says, "Gotta get you naked, sweetheart."
"Touch me. Jared, p-please." Jensen moans and a shudder rocks him.
Jared takes a moment to drink in the sight of Jensen, flushed and naked, where he reclines on the couch, the slight bow of his legs accentuated by his indolent sprawl. His long, hard cock curves up toward his belly, brushing the light brown trail of hair just beneath his naval.
He's so goddamn beautiful.
To look at him now it's hard to believe that, only an hour ago, he'd been an emotional wreck, strung out and desperate to prove his worth as an actor. As if he has anything left to prove at this point.
But now he's got his head tipped to rest against the back of the couch, lips parted in anticipation, breath coming in gentle puffs. The strain in his shoulders and neck muscles has evaporated, leaving him loose-limbed and relaxed. Just the way Jared likes to see him. Behind the make-shift blindfold, his pupils are probably so dilated they look like smoldering dark embers.
Jared licks his lips, takes a step closer, and draws just the very tips of his fingers across Jensen's chest. Goose bumps appear in their wake and Jensen moans, arching into the touch, seeking more. Jared chuckles darkly. His boy is so responsive.
Jared's rock-hard dick twitches, very interested in the proceedings. He reaches down with his free hand to cup his own balls, rolling them in his palm, tugging at the tender sack.
Biting his lower lip, Jensen sits forward. "I wanna ride you, Jared. Can I?"
The words pull a groan from Jared. "You're impatient today, huh baby?"
A blush steals across the tanned skin at Jensen's throat, rising to his cheekbones. He ducks his head as though to hide his sudden embarrassment.
That won't do.
"Come here," Jared says, voice husky with want as he goes to sit at the other end of the couch where they'll have plenty of room.
Standing, Jensen moves with an easy, fluid grace, even with the blindfold on. The drugs aren't making him clumsy or awkward anymore. Far from it. His movements are slower, more deliberate, as sinuous and graceful as a slinking panther. It's erotic as Hell.
Jared puts a hand on his elbow to guide him into position on his lap, Jensen's back to his front. The friction of Jensen's ass as it rubs across his dick sends a ripple of pleasure from his groin to the soles of his feet. With the flat of his tongue, Jared licks a stripe from Jensen's shoulder blade to the nape of his neck, nipping at the soft flesh at the juncture there.
Jensen hums appreciatively.
Between the cushions of the couch, Jared quickly finds the bottle of lube they keep for just this type of situation. He squirts a large dollop onto his fingers. They've done this enough that Jensen doesn't need much prep, especially when he's feeling all floaty and languorous. Two fingers inside the enveloping heat of his channel quickly graduate to three and then Jensen is writhing and keening like a wild thing. Jared can't wait another second. He has to have his cock inside his gorgeous, sweet boyfriend right-the-fuck now.
With one hand on either side of Jensen's hips, Jared lifts his boy up just enough to position him over his eager shaft. Jared's biceps bulge from the effort and there are sure to be finger shaped bruises in Jensen's soft flesh tomorrow. It excites him more than he would have thought possible to know that Jensen will carry his marks, the proof of their love and devotion, for days to come. Even if no one else ever sees the evidence of his possession, even if it stays a little secret shared only between the two of them, Jared can't help the shit-eating grin that spreads across his face at the very idea.
Jensen squirms, bare ass rubbing against the head of Jared's cock until he's all lined up. The sensation turns Jared's grin into an open-mouthed groan. He can feel Jensen's buttocks clenching and releasing beneath his hands, his puckered hole stretching, so needy.
Carefully, he lowers Jensen's body, sheathing himself inch by inch, letting gravity do most of the work. The heat is immediate and intense, mind-blowing. It causes his breath to catch for a moment. His chest tightens.
Jensen raises his arms overhead and reaches behind to entwine them around Jared's neck. As he does so, he lets his head fall back against Jared's shoulder, lean torso bowed outward, legs on either side of Jared's thighs. Only the balls of Jensen's feet and his toes reach the floor.
"How you feeling, baby? Are you okay?" Jared asks, Jensen's well-being first and foremost in his mind. He can never forget he has a job to do here, that Jensen is in a very vulnerable state, even more so than usual what with the blindfold coupled with the drug haze he's in, and Jared has a responsibility to protect him from anything that might cause him harm, including himself.
Head rolling lethargically from side to side, Jensen lets out a puff of hot air next to Jared's ear. "I love that you can do that - pick me up. I love the way it makes me feel...ungh...you don't even know. You...you...oh," his dreamy voice, thick with Texas twang, trails off as he begins to bounce and wriggle.
White sparks flash in front of Jared's eyes. The muscles of Jensen's channel constrict around him, pulsing, and it feels amazing. He lowers his head to nuzzle his boy's neck. "Fuck, that feels so good, Jense," he murmurs into the musky, warm skin.
Jensen rises up as high as he can on the tips of his toes and then sinks back down. Reading his boyfriend's intent, Jared thrusts up at the same time, meeting him halfway. He grinds into Jensen's ass and his vision swims out of focus with the intensity of the enveloping heat, the friction all around his cock, the pleasure that surges through him. Against the shell of his ear, Jensen makes a breathy series of noises that sound like a garbled combination of, "Jared" and "yes" and "oh." His breath smells of the cinnamon gum he sometimes chews in between takes.
They set up a slow, sensual rhythm, Jensen pushing himself up unto his toes, back arched, holding the position for a heartbeat before sliding back down, Jared using the strength in his upper arms and the handhold he has on Jensen's hips to help him keep the pace. Pressure builds in Jared's groin each time they come together. The speed gradually increases, becomes more urgent, almost frantic.
Jensen's thighs begin to quiver, whether from strain or impending climax, Jared isn't sure.
Taking his hands off Jensen's hips, he wraps one arm around his boy's middle to lock their bodies in place and uses the other to trace a path down Jensen's side to where his erection bobs against his belly. "Easy baby, I gotcha. Let me take over the hard part from here. I'm gonna make you feel so damn good."
Pre-come dribbles from Jensen's slit. Jared gathers some of the slippery liquid on his thumb as he fists the silky shaft. Jensen's fingers find his hair, blunt nails lightly scraping along his scalp.
Then Jared is thrusting up, harder, faster, tilting his pelvis until he finds just the right angle. The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the trailer. Jensen keens and tugs a fistful of Jared's hair. The pain adds a delicious counterpoint to the nearly overwhelming pleasure coursing through him. The keening stops, there's a sharp intake of breath, and Jensen's cock jerks. Milky white globs of come spurt from the tip, covering his flat stomach and Jared's hand.
The last shred of Jared's control flies out the window. He bucks up one last time, heart hammering, and his release slams through him like a hurricane, leaving him breathless and spent.
It's all he can do to keep Jensen from sliding off his lap and onto the floor when his body goes completely limp in Jared's arms.
Somehow, he gets both arms around Jensen's chest, hefts him into a more secure position, and hugs him tightly so that there's no chance of him slipping. The couch is deep, the cushions overstuffed, and Jared relaxes back into them, Jensen draped over him like a heavy, warm blanket.
The trailer is quiet now, other than his own ragged breathing as he recovers from one hell of an orgasm. Jared could easily fall asleep this way. This close contact with the one person he loves more than anything else is more effective than the sweetest lullaby for lulling him to sleep. There's nothing better than having his boy, sated, content and so secure in his absolute trust that he can give himself up to Jared's care in this most intimate of ways.
Jensen's not fully conscious, that much Jared can tell from the weight of his limbs and his utter disregard for anything that may be happening around him. It's not uncommon for Jensen to fall asleep immediately after sex. It's also not unheard of for him to pass out for a few seconds or even minutes following an intense orgasm. The combination of the stressful shoot of earlier today, the cocktail of drugs Jared has given him, and the mind-blowing sex is probably responsible for his loss of consciousness.
Jared is perfectly happy to give Jensen all the time he needs to come around. After all, they have no place they need to be and no one is going to disturb them since they're done shooting for the day.
The blue bandana is still tied around Jensen's head, but it's gone a little crooked, one side covering an eyebrow instead of his actual eye. Jared chuckles and carefully reaches one hand over to pull it off. He kisses Jensen's temple and gets a sleepy little snuffle in return. It's fucking adorable.
Once he unties the knot in the bandana, it makes a very convenient cloth for wiping the come from his hands and Jensen's stomach. They can clean up more thoroughly at home, maybe take a shower together. Or a bath, a bath would be nice, Jared thinks.
He cards a hand through Jensen's hair and whispers, "Hey Jense, you ready to go home yet, baby? Ready to wake up a little so I can take you home?"
Jensen doesn't really need to wake up in order for Jared to get him home. If need be, Jared can always carry him out to the truck. The crew will all have packed up and left by now, so there won't be anyone around to see and, even if anyone did see, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. Jared could always play it off as a joke of some kind.
Jensen's eyes flutter as though he's trying to open them, but is having a tough time. Patiently, Jared rubs his chest, talking to him in a low tone of voice, and waits.
If Christian were here, he would probably be getting anxious by now. Patience isn't exactly one of his strong points and Jensen tends to bring his protective streak out in spades. Not that Jared can blame him, seeing as how he feels the same way.
If Chad were here, well...maybe it's best not to think about what Chad would want to do. The guy has no fucking clue what words like trust and responsibility even mean. That's not to say he doesn't have his good characteristics too, it's just that Chad is not the guy you ask to hold your hot dog at the ball park when nature calls and expect it to be there when you get back. Jared knows this from experience.
Eventually, Jensen's eyes open and he searches out Jared's face. With some shuffling and maneuvering, Jared manages to get out from under him so it's easier for them to look at each other.
"You're back," he says, fondly.
Licking his lips, Jensen nods, but then he ducks his head, frown lines apparent at the corners of his mouth.
Worry forms a pit in Jared's stomach. "What is it? What's wrong?"
Jensen looks up and quickly away again. His voice is barely there when he says, "Do you...do you think there's something wr-wrong with me? Am I m-messed up, to need this?" As he speaks, he makes a vague hand gesture.
Jared has to lean in to hear the last of Jensen's question because the words are so faint. What he hears floors him. How could Jensen think that?
"Of course not!" he says, a little too vehemently if Jensen's slight flinch is anything to go by. Softening his tone, he continues. "Wanting or even needing something different from other people doesn't make you messed up and I refuse to let you think that about yourself."
Jensen's lower lip sticks out in a pout. Jared can see he needs more convincing.
"There's nothing wrong with you, Jensen. Lots of people have desires that aren't considered mainstream. Lots of people have kinks that they're afraid to tell anyone about. But you? Jensen, you're brave. You weren't afraid to tell me what you needed. You trusted me with something very precious and you'll never know how happy that makes me. I love this, baby. I love what we have and I love you, more than anything."
Jared frames Jensen's face in both his hands and leans in to press their lips together. The kiss is sweet and chaste, their moist breath mingling.
Jensen is the first to pull away. Smiling shyly, he puts his arms around Jared's neck to rest their foreheads together. "I love you, too. There's no one else I'd let do this."
"And there's nothing I wouldn't do for you," Jared affirms. "All you have to do is ask."
Jensen's smile becomes playful. ""M ready to go home now. Carry me?" he asks.
"As you wish," Jared replies.